Just a Fairy Tale
by tanikara kohitsuji
Summary: Karen Minazuki is a reasonable, mature girl. She never lets anyone see how lonely she is. So when her best friend Komachi joins Pretty Cure, can Karen come to grips with her world as she knew it is ending?
1. Chapter 1

If I don't do it myself, it's no good. I've known this for a long time. I always do things I shouldn't because it's true. No one in my life can seem to get along without me. I must take care of all the problems that fall in my lap. I must see them through to the end. Because if I don't, who will?

I suppose there is a reason why I feel this way. I've lain awake nights wondering what the reason is. I've concluded it's because of my parents. Ever since I was small, they've left me to travel the world on their concerts. Sure, I had someone to take care of me but that doesn't change the fact that I still had to take care of myself. I must take care of myself like a grown adult because I basically live on my own. So I've had to solve all the problems I encounter like an adult.

I guess a reason must be found for why I don't object to taking on more responsibilities. Probably because I believe that, the more I take on, the more exceptional I will become and the less likely it is that my parents will leave me…again. I also try to tell myself that the busier I am, the less time I have to mope around. The more time I fill, the less loneliness will plague me. But it seems just the opposite. The more I try to be exceptional, the more I try to fill my time with responsibilities, the more lonely I feel. Because even though I'm used to the constant ache my parents' absence causes, it bothers me more now that I'm older and the busier I become. It's like the more I throw myself into school and my duties, the more I distance myself from anyone who could care about me.

I'm used to waking in the morning and rushing to the window to see a plane take off, its sleek body shining in the sunlight. I'm used to seeing this and thinking, _Mom and Dad are on a plane like that._ I'm used to the weekly phone call my mom gives me. I'm used to her lack of time to talk to me. She just calls to make sure I'm not dead or in the hospital. She doesn't ask me how my life is, how school is, or if I would like to see her soon! I'm used to the pain that rushes in after she hangs up. I'm used to going to bed and longing for my parents to be there. There to tuck me in, to kiss me, to read me a story, to comfort me when I wake from a nightmare.

I'm used to all these things…so why do they still bother me so much?

There was one person I always felt the edge of the loneliness go away with: Komachi. But now she's talking more with those other girls, those second years Nozomi and Rin and that first year Urara. Those one who claim they're Pretty Cure. And to make it worse, they've convinced Komachi of those lies! I'm losing her but I still want to believe her. I want to believe that she's right and have her be with me. Because much as I hate to admit it, I need her. I need her to take away my loneliness even if it's just for a moment.

Because that's the one thing I can't do. In fact, if I try to do it myself, it's no good. I need her for that because she's really the only one who doesn't ever talk about my parents. But even as I need her so desperately, I don't want to. Because I'm reminded of how lonely I am when I'm with her.

The one thing I can't do…rid myself of this wretched loneliness. But she can. And I'm losing her.


	2. Chapter 2

I thought Nozomi was cute and fun when I first met her. Now I find myself hating her. Because she's stealing my only friend. And yet—I still feel pulled toward Nozomi. She's given Komachi something I never could, no matter how hard I tried.

Hope.

She's revived Komachi's dream, breathed new life into it. I'm pulled toward her because I'm hoping she can do the same to me.

I thought she was cute until I heard her start talking about Pretty Cure and how she was part of it. It just proved my suspicions about her mental stability since that day in the library when she insisted a man had entered but none had. Nozomi is crazy and so are Rin and Urara. They insisted Komachi and I were perfect candidates for Pretty Cure. I didn't believe them and Komachi thought it was just a story they had read. But then, they swayed Komachi to their side.

I couldn't believe it when those three crazy girls crawled out of the sewers after those strange earthquakes and were followed by Komachi. Komachi was smiling and she began telling me that those three were right. That Pretty Cure was real and that she was part of it. I couldn't believe it. Komachi was a bit of a romantic but I didn't expect her to fall for this impossible lie hook, line, and sinker! Then they all asked me again to join. But I refused.

And now I find myself wanting to believe them. I can't believe it, but I'm wishing I hadn't said no. Because something in me knows, they're not lying at the same time I tell myself they are. How could they make this up? Nozomi and Urara I could understand believing it. But Rin? She wasn't the type of person to believe something like that. She's smart, sensible. Like me. Komachi I can imagine writing such a story but believing it to be fact? That was too much even for her. She was old enough to know that such things are impossible.

Yet…they believe. Really, all of them are too old for this. This is just a stupid, childish fantasy! It can't be true. It sounds like an anime, for goodness's sake! Only kindergarteners believe that they'll meet a talking cat who will help them transform into Sailor Moon. Of course they claim it's a magical, talking squirrel with a—what was it? Oh yes!—a Dream Collet.

This is insane. I know this to be true. I stopped believing in fairy tales a long time ago. If I ever did. Because magic doesn't exist in this world.

Did I just say this world? As if other worlds exist? Where magic is possible, and spells and miracles happen all the time? Where good battles evil? I'm losing it. They're starting to convince me of that hogwash.

But…something in me seems to know that it's true. It can't be though. Who ever heard of such a thing? I mean a talking squirrel? Come on! Who's gonna fear a talking squirrel?! And they're claiming that something like that is the guardian of another world? Yeah, right.

I will never fall for that story. Look at my hair. Blue. The color of rationality. I am sane. I am logical. Sane and logical people don't believe in silly fantasies.

I want to believe them but…I don't believe in fairy tales.


	3. Chapter 3

They won't stop bugging me. All four of them believe this drivel.

Believe it so much that they'll face rejection numerous times just to get a team member. I told them once no. I'm sure Komachi told them about how when I say no, I rarely change my mind.

It all went horribly wrong that day. It was the day my mother always calls me. I needed to be home, waiting, preparing to lie so she wouldn't worry. But that girl who created the schedule couldn't tell the yearbook staff our plans. She was gutless and it proved to me yet again this one truth: it's only good if you do it yourself. It's pointless to ask someone else to do something.

So I gave up my time at home to present our plan to the yearbook staff. Of course, the spineless girl thanked me afterward even though she had just stood there. I had to do all the work. But I just smiled. Because I couldn't snap. I accepted this as the student council president.

And then of course, the lunch lady went on about how I'm so busy I never have time to do what I want. Which is true. But only because I can never get what I want. What do I want though? I want Komachi to be my best friend again, to stop going on about this fantasy. I want my parents to be home. But I'll never get the latter. I can't ask them to stay. Just like how I can't force Komachi to stay by me either.

I got home and…there they were. Waiting for me. I couldn't tell them to go away. They would want to know why, and I couldn't tell them why. That would mean admitting that I was weak, lonely.

But my butler had to blurt out all that stuff about my parents. He told them how it was just the two of us there since they were out performing. And of course, Rin has to say I must be lonely. I deny it as the pain gets twisted around in my gut. Because I am. I just won't admit it. Because that is weakness.

Nozomi saw the pictures then of my parents. I have to admit it was hilarious to listen to her exclaim how they looked like musicians as she looked at them by a piano, Mom with her violin and Dad seated at the piano. It also sent little stabs of pain through my heart though. It felt like she was twisting a knife around in my heart.

Urara told me my mom looked like me. A cute mix-up of an expression. It cut though. How could she really know that? I guess Komachi noticed how their questions were taking a toll on me.

She always could see through me.

So she brought out her gift of her family's bean jelly. I love that stuff. Komachi's family has run their own bakery for over a hundred years. They make the most delicious confections. I suggested we go outside to the gazebo to eat the treat.

It was fun watching them fool around out there. Nozomi and Urara stuffed the slices into their mouths like this were their last meal. Rin tried to convince them to eat more lady-like. But Nozomi just stole her portion, saying she didn't seem to want it. Rin reached around Nozomi, desperately trying to reach those two slices. The brunette had no idea how unladylike she looked. Nozomi carelessly brought the toothpick the two slices of bean jelly close to Rin's mouth. Then--gulp! They vanished!

I laughed, and I realized then I wanted to be with them. They made me forget how lonely I was. Not even Komachi could do that. She could only take away the sting of it, dull the pain. But with those four, I forgot how my parents were never home, and how much I loved them and missed them. I forgot about how I was the only reliable person on the student council. I forgot it all.

And it felt wonderful. Oh, so very wonderful. I don't think I've ever felt that way before.

Then my butler brought the cordless phone to me. I knew instantly who it was and I felt a surge of happiness and oddly, fear—or was it anger? Because I knew she would have no time for me? Because she was brought me back to reality?

I took the phone and went around the corner. "Sorry I didn't call you earlier."

"Are you okay?" she asked, her soft, kind voice clear. As if she was next to me, whispering the words sweetly into my ear.

My heart felt that old familiar pull on my heart. The ache strengthened to an unbearable amount.

"I'm fine," I replied.

"I'm worried about you. Are you sure you're okay?" her voice pried into my heart. I struggled against the urge to cry.

I wanted to say it. I've never wanted to say it before. But my happiness of a few minutes ago showed me what I could have had if they had been there. I almost shouted, "No, I'm not okay! Why are you never here? Why do you put your work before me? Am I not enough? What did I do wrong to make you never want to stay? I want you to come home! But I don't because it's so much harder to pretend I'm okay when you're here!"

I opened my mouth to say it. I was going to say it. _Do you not love me? Do you hate me? Is that why you travel so much? _The words were forming in my mind. _**I hate you!**_

They never came out though.

"I'm fine, really."

_Liar._

"Are you lonely?"

"No, I'm not," I answered spunkily. "I'm not lonely."

_May I swallow a thousand needles…_

"Maybe I should—" Mother began.

_If I ever break this promise…_

"No! Don't worry about me. Work hard. Do a good job in your concert."

I heard the murmur of voices, one of them Mother's, in the background. It sounded like, "Time to tune and do makeup, ma'am." Did she reply, "I'm talking to my daughter"? Or did she say, "I'll be right there"?

"I have to go, honey," she said into the receiver. "Be good, okay? Talk to you next week! Remember I'll be home for Christmas."

"Okay. Bye." I smiled, squeezing back tears.

_To never let them know how lonely I am and cry._

I hung up and took a breath to calm down. I gave the phone back to my butler and headed back to the gazebo.


	4. Chapter 4

I took my seat. I felt their questioning gazes on me. I knew what they were wondering. _Who was that? Is she okay? Why did she go around the corner to answer it?_ Well, let them wonder. It was my business.

"So why did you come here?" I needed tackle this while I was still angry over Mom's call. I had to introduce the subject. "I know you came here for a reason. Why?"

All the merriment vanished. I cursed myself. Why did I have to ask that? It ruined the mood. All the loneliness clawed at my heart, shredding it.

_Stupid._

They exchanged glances and nodded. Nozomi began.

"We came—to ask Karen to join us as Pretty Cure!"

The silence blanketed the gazebo after her declaration.

I told myself not to grit my teeth. I told myself not to let her know about my doubts. About my longing to be with them, to believe their fairy tale.

Because if that fairy tale was true, then why couldn't others come true? What was keeping my parents from returning and apologizing and getting normal jobs?

"That story again? Didn't I say I had no interest in it?" I asked, knowing the answer.

She continued, saying yes I had refused, but I must not believe what they were asking. She blathered about how it was all true, how she was the cause of the disturbance at the library.

Then Komachi spoke up about how the weird noises and vibrations from the sewers was her. I couldn't believe this. This—all of this story was wrong! Because in a fairy tale, wouldn't the best friends stay together? No one would separate them! But these upstarts were! They were pretending that they were good, but ripping my world apart around me!

Then Nozomi proposed she prove it. And she brought out this… squirrel. The magical talking squirrel guardian.

I froze as they talked. Talked. This squirrel was talking. Then he came over to me, his creamy tail fluffy, blue eyes (just like mine) sparkling. And he started exercising. I was going crazy. These things—they don't exist. Magic doesn't exist. Fairy tales don't come true! But this thing is real. This squirrel is a talking magical creature.

But I couldn't let on that I'm even considering this. I couldn't. Because it's not rational.

"They're really making stuffed animals well these days, aren't they?" I answered. _Liar._

And then wouldn't you know it, the creature had to insist it's not a stuffed animal and proclaimed its name is Coco while jumping.

Rin spoke up then saying I'm right. Thank goodness someone else was rational and lucid in this gazebo besides me. She continued saying it is hard to believe this stuff, even normal to say it's not true.

Then Nozomi went on about this Pinky. Apparently, it will restore the talking magical squirrel guardian's home. Oh, wait. Coco's world. My brain snapped then. I couldn't process this. I couldn't deal with this right now. I have enough to worry about! I have student council to run, my parents to assure I'm okay, my house to run. I don't have time to worry about some fantasy of a world that needs some Pinky thing to restore it for a bunch of talking squirrels.

So then, why is my heart clutching in fear? Why is it whispering that I should, no, have to help? That if I don't, it'll all be my fault. Why do I have this gut feeling they're telling the truth? That if I don't join them, Coco's world will die because of me.

"Pretty Cure? Coco? Pinky?" I whispered slowly, trying to understand all of this, this unshakable premonition. "I don't get it!"

Then the squirrel said there's a Pinky nearby. As if my day could get any weirder than this cream-colored talking squirrel. But it does.

For then Komachi started to help him catch the weird pink fluff of cloud shaped like some mutant bunny. This weird watch bracelet thing she started wearing when she came out of the sewer glowed and spat out a flute. Coco started playing it and Komachi waved her bracelet, explaining it draws the Pinky in. The pink mutant cloud-bunny turned into a golden light then and shot toward the bracelet. But then something rushed by and the Pinky was gone.

Then this weird ugly foreigner looking guy was standing on the gazebo railing holding the Pinky in his fist. Then he started going on about how his underlings couldn't do this, and ordered them to hand over the Dream Collet. When they refused, he threw this mask onto the gazebo's ceiling. And my gazebo came to life!

But this can't be. Fairy tales don't happen! Do they?

What if I'm wrong? What if they do? This is my proof, this living gazebo creature!

Then all the girls transformed using those bracelets. Just like Komachi's. And I… I just stayed the same. Even though my heart was telling me, I should be there by their sides with my magic, ready to lend my aid. But I can't. So I ran and hid as they started fighting my gazebo. And when they defeated it, Creepy Dude appeared and transformed.

I realized I'm the only one who should be doing something but isn't. For the first time, I'm not the one doing everything. I'm the one passing on the labor to someone else.

Creepy Dude attacked them. I'm about to scream, to yell, to tell Komachi and everyone to run, when Komachi did some magic to create a shield. But he just made a stronger assault and the shield disappeared, broken. Komachi's in danger.

And I can't protect her.

My best friend is about to die and I can't do anything to save her. Because now, compared to these super girls, I'm weak. I'm helpless. And nothing I can do can stop me from losing the one thing I hold dearer than life itself. I'm shaking like a leaf as my world continues to fall apart around me. Without Komachi… I don't think I could go on. She's my everything.

I see the butterfly then. It's shining, blue, and glittery. Magical. And coming to me. Coco told me to hold out my hand. But I hardly needed him to tell me that. Because my heart is pounding, each beat telling me to reach out. And I know I can save them if I do. But I can't. I'm still scared. But it's like the butterfly knows that.

But I remember the monster Creepy Dude is. He scares me. Scares me to the core. I can't fight him. I can't stand up to my parents, let alone him!

"I can't do something like this!" I exploded. I'm scared! Komachi, I'm scared! Everyone, I'm scared! Somebody, help me! Anybody! I can't do this! I'm not ready for this! Komachi, I can't do this! I can't save you! I can't even save myself! How can I save you? You were always the one saving me!

God, somebody save her! Why didn't her teammates do something?

It hit me then.

Because they couldn't. They couldn't help themselves. This was out of their league. They were waiting for me to save them.

_It seems that in the end, it's no good unless I do it myself._

_No, I'm not lonely at all._

Some things never change.

"In the end, it's no good unless I do it myself," I whispered as I extended my hand.

The butterfly settled on my wrist and changed into a glowing band of blue light. It tightened slowly.

As always, I could only rely on myself.


	5. Chapter 5

The butterfly's light shattered as I thought that, the pieces vanishing like dying fireflies. And no matter what I did, they left me all alone. Alone, to watch as my friend died before my eyes trying to bring about a happy ending to a talking squirrel's fairy tale.

I couldn't believe it at first. It had been working. I was finally going to be in control of what happened to me. And I failed.

I couldn't stop shaking. What was wrong with me? Why hadn't the butterfly found me worthy? Was it something to do with my parents? Was it the fact that I still couldn't believe in fairy tales? I believed in this Pretty Cure thing now! Didn't that count?!

Why had they been chosen? Those other girls? Why had they been chosen… and not me?

If I couldn't do this… then what could I do? If I couldn't repay my friend by saving her once, what good was I? Was my life even worth saving?

I would have to live the rest of my life knowing my friend, my best friend, my only friend, my anchor, died because I was too weak, too… unworthy, to save her.

So I stood there, watching as the gazebo monster advanced. My heart was dying a slow painful death. I had never thought I would have to watch Komachi die. Had never considered the possibility. Yet, here it was before my eyes. The very real possibility that my best friend would be no more.

Urara, Rin, and Nozomi attacked, causing the mask to fall off the gazebo. Creepy Dude vanished with the Pinky. The world returned to normal.

And I stared at four faces, one my best friend's, broken with grief. Because I let them down. I should've transformed and joined them. But I didn't. So now I look at those faces and now it's all my fault they're disappointed.

I couldn't stand their looks. So I coldly told them I knew they were telling the truth now. That I understood. But that I couldn't help them. So stop bothering me.

"Don't ask me again," I ordered them. Because I can't stand to watch your hopes crumble again and know it's my fault. I can't pretend to be strong again if that happens.

But Nozomi refused. She insisted she was going to keep asking.

I froze. And Nozomi danced off into the sunset, her group of fighters following her.

Leaving me, the disappointment, alone. As I always am.

I can't stop thinking about everything that happened. The monster, Creepy Dude, Coco, the Pinky, Pretty Cure, the butterfly. And the longer I think about it all, the more I despise myself.

I review everything I did after the butterfly appeared to when it disappeared. What did I do wrong? What had made it change its mind about me?

What had drawn it to me?

I had wanted to save Komachi, to save all of them really. But mostly I wanted to help my best friend. Wasn't that what heroes did? Protect those they cared about, even at the risk of their own lives? That must have been what drew it to me.

So what changed? What made it turn against me?

I went through the day wondering, until the monster attacked. Then as I watched these girls fight even though it was the Pinky, watched them get clobbered, I realized what it was that made the butterfly disappear.

I had been scared, and in my fear and anger turned selfish. I had decided I didn't need anyone. I hadn't been fully willing to lay down my life for them.

And as I realized this, I ran out to defend Pretty Cure. Transformation or not, magic or not, I wasn't going to stand by this time. I wasn't going to let my fear hold me back any longer! Not my fear of being hurt, not my fear of losing Komachi, not my fear of loneliness, not my fear of being weak.

I would stand tall, defending what I loved with my life. Because even if this was a fairy tale turned real, it was what I had to do.

The butterfly came back then. And I was ready.

It landed on my wrist and transformed into that bracelet the others had. And as I let my magic flow, I know I'm ready for whatever comes my way. So long as I have my old friend and new ones by my side.


End file.
